The Makeover
by Standing There
Summary: When Parvati and Lavender decide to give Hermione a makeover, disastrous things happen. Such as...Ron reading a book! gasp


The Makeover  
  
by Standing There  
  
Author's Note: This idea came to me while putting on my makeup. No, really.  
  
Disclaimer: Do I even need to bother? Didn't think so.  
  
***  
  
"Parvati, no!" shrieked Hermione.  
  
"Don't worry, Hermione!" reassured Lavender.  
  
"No! Don't do this to me!" Hermione shouted, squirming frantically.  
  
Parvati and Lavender shoved their dorm mate haphazardly into a salon-style chair and surveyed her with apprehension.  
  
"Nooooo," moaned Hermione, before hanging her head as if she was resigned to her fate.  
  
Parvati and Lavender giggled simultaneously. Hermione shook her head to force the screechy sound out of her ears. Why was she being forced to become one of these bimbos?  
  
"Okay, let's start with the hair," Pravati said in a businesslike manner. She and Lavender exchanged a nod and the former rushed off to retrieve her Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioner from her trunk.  
  
Parvati conjured a basin of water from nowhere and placed it on a small table behind Hermione's chair. "Lean your head back," she commanded. Hermione meekly obeyed, submerging her tangled hair into the cool water.  
  
Lavender returned, bearing the shampoo and conditioner bottles as if she was carrying an Olympic gold medal. After squirting a generous dollop into Hermione's hair, she hastened back to her trunk to fetch a comb.  
  
When she returned, Parvati took the comb and began to evenly distribute the shampoo to all parts of the hair. It was a trick she had learned from her older sister, who worked at The Heavenly Witch Salon in Diagon Ally.  
  
"Now, make sure you do this every time you wash your hair, Hermione," Parvati tutored her, pulling through a snag in Hermione's hair.  
  
"Ow!" the bookworm screamed. Parvati and Lavender glanced gloomily at each other. This could take a while.  
  
***  
  
Half an hour later, the shampoo was finally combed through Hermione's hair. She breathed in relief as Lavender and Parvati summoned a new bowl of water to rinse the shampoo out. "So I'm done?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"Not quite!" Lavender responded cheerfully. "We still have to do the conditioner."  
  
"And the makeup," Parvati added.  
  
"And the nails!" Lavender chimed in.  
  
"And the outfit!" Parvati shouted.  
  
The two girls squealed in excitement. Hermione hid her face in her hands.  
  
Parvati picked up the enormous conditioner bottle, smiling in a slightly evil way all the while.  
  
"Oh, no," Hermione murmured, leaning back, once again resigned to her fate. After all, what could she do without a wand? Parvati and Lavender had confiscated it at the beginning of their "makeover session".  
  
Once again, a dollop of slimy substance landed in Hermione's hair. Lavender attacked her head with the comb, which was slightly easier than before, considering her hair had already been combed out recently.  
  
After about five minutes of torture, the conditioning was done. Hermione attempted to wash the conditioner out of her hair, but Parvati reprimanded her with a loud, "Oh no you don't!"  
  
"What?" moaned Hermione.  
  
"You need to leave the conditioner in your hair for at least five minutes so the hair can absorb all the silky stuff," was Lavender's educated-sounding reply.  
  
"Let's start on her nails!" Parvati suggested.  
  
Each eagerly seized one of the victim's hands, only to be met with disappointment.  
  
"Broken," Lavender commented disdainfully.  
  
"Chewed off," Parvati sniffed with immense disgust.  
  
"Not painted!!!" The two shrieked, fixing each other with looks of horror. Hermione snorted.  
  
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Lavender asked, a slow smile spreading across her face.  
  
"I sure hope so," Parvati responded.  
  
"Fake nails!!" both girls squealed. Then it was Hermione's turn to look horrified.  
  
***  
  
"What's taking Hermione?" wondered Harry while sitting on the scarlet couch in the common room.  
  
"She said we were going to study for the Potions test after lunch," Ron snorted. "The later she is, the better."  
  
Both glanced apprehensively toward the girl's staircase.  
  
***  
  
Hermione was finally allowed out of the salon chair nearly fifteen minutes later. Her hair was dry and surprisingly fluffy, thanks to Parvati's drying charm. Her nails extended to a length of two inches and they were painted crimson. 'This is terrible.' Hermione thought.  
  
Her dorm mates didn't seem to be thinking along the same lines.   
  
"Oh, Hermione!" gasped Parvati. "You look stunning!"  
  
"Radiant," agreed Lavender.  
  
"Yeah. But we still have to do her makeup." Parvati said. "Lavender!"  
  
Lavender stood up straight and saluted.  
  
"Fetch my makeup bag," Parvati barked.  
  
"Aye aye, ma'am!" shouted Lavender, scurrying away to fetch the said item.  
  
When she returned and handed over the large pink bag, she saluted again. "Request permission to assemble outfit!" she shouted, soldier-style.  
  
"Permission granted!" Parvati barked, drill sergeant-style.  
  
Lavender once again hurried to her trunk, as Parvati bent over her makeup bag, assembling the necessary cosmetics.  
  
***  
  
"We might have to start studying without her," yawned Ron, flipping through the pages in his bright orange book.  
  
"We could always go play Quiddich," Harry suggested.  
  
Ron waved him off. "You go. I'm reading this book about the Chudly Cannons."  
  
Harry frowned. Ron reading a book? This was unusual. "Alright, I suppose so," he responded, getting up to fetch his broom.  
  
Suddenly, an ear-shattering scream erupted from the girl's dorm. Ron and Harry stared in panic at the forbidden door. What was going on up there?  
  
***  
  
"Ahhhhh!!!" screamed Hermione as Parvati approached her with the eyebrow pluckers.  
  
"It won't hurt, don't worry," came Lavender's voice, slightly muffled as her head was buried in her trunk.  
  
"No! You've gone too far!" shouted Hermione, scrambling away from the hated instruments.  
  
Parvati rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine," she agreed, pulling out her wand and pointing it at Hermione's brows. "Frons Spargo!" she shouted, performing the trimming charm.  
  
Hermione screamed as the charm attacked her eyebrows. "That hurts!"  
  
***  
  
Half an hour later, Hermione walked slowly down the spiral staircase, Parvati's last words echoing in her mind: "Go impress your man!"  
  
'What exactly did she mean by that?" Hermione wondered. Suddenly, she spotted Ron lounging on the couch with a book. A wave of guilt swept over her. She was supposed to be studying with Harry and Ron! How could she have forgotten all about it?  
  
Ron looked up, hearing footsteps. "Oh, hi, Lavender," he said upon seeing Hermione. Suddenly he did a double take. "Her…her…Hermione..?" he whispered.  
  
Hermione adjusted her pleated black skirt and pink low-cut top, awaiting the judgement. To her surprise, Ron said, "I though you were Lavender," a bit sheepishly.  
  
"Parvati and Lavender…er…gave me a makeover," wavered Hermione, approaching the couch.  
  
Ron frowned. "No offense or anything, but I liked you better…er….before," he stuttered, the tips of his ears predictably turning red.  
  
As Hermione joined him on the couch, he reached out and touched her hair. "I mean, it's really nice, but it's not..." Ron struggled to find the right word.  
  
"It's not me?" Hermione suggested.  
  
"Exactly. I just...er....liked you better before Lavender and Parvati turned you into one of them." Ron said, suddenly very intersted in the pattern of the rug on the floor.  
  
"So, I went through all this pain just for you to say I'm ugly?" Hermione feigned a hurt expression.  
  
The red color had jumped into the rest of his ears and face. "No!" he said a little louder than he had intended. Hermione looked startled. Ron's facial color advanced a few shades.  
  
"Er...I just ment that...you are pretty...but..." at that point Ron broke off, and went back to examining the carpet.  
  
Hermione grabbed Ron's hand. "I know what you mean," she said, a blush rising to her face also. She raised her other hand to her mouth and bit one of the fake fingernails clean off, while grinning at Ron the whole time.  
  
Typically, the moment was spoiled by Harry, who came through the portrait hole and nearly shouted, "THERE you are, Hermione!"  
  
***  
  
A sulky Lavender and Parvati watched the scene hidden in the shadows of the staircase.  
  
"We'll have to try again tomorrow," Lavender said, disappointed.  
  
"We will get them together or we're not," - here Parvati struck a superhero fighting pose - "Parvati and Lavender- matchmakers from hell!"  
  
Lavender giggled. "I've got a great idea..."  
  
***  
  
Sorry for the lame ending, I was kind of out of ideas...O_o 


End file.
